A Hurtfully Unpainful Epiphany.

Love is portrayed as a hurtful creature,
A beast among them all,
A beast that tears out a heart by it's strings,
An untamed beast not meant for everyone,
Long story short;
Love hurts.
But I don't know if I disagree,
What I feel is torn by two sides,
Neither overcoming my mind,
Love can be an indirect cause of tears,
hurt, and loss,
But love is too timid a creature,
Love, my dear, is not the source of it all.
Love together, hand in hand,
with betrayal and regret,
Can successfully break down the strongest of men,
But love never tries to hurt the innocent.
So maybe love IS dangerous,
But what I've been thinking is this;
Maybe love really does hurt,
But it's a kind of hurt you want to hold on to,
A bruise, or a scab that you like to pick,
But you wouldn't want to live without it,
For this chapter in your life would be over,
This memory would surely be ended.
Love hurts,
and hurt causes pain,
and you could say pain is obsession,
But you wouldn't want this pain to heal,
You want to hold on to it,
For it shows how everything's real.
Since you want to hold on to this craving,
It gives you a reason to think of them,
For all we know;
Love could be obsession.
And so yes,
Maybe love DOES hurt,
But it's a hurt we want to hold on to,
because honestly we wouldn't know how our life would be,
if that pain were to heal.

This Playground of Ours.

Hello my love,
The world is waiting for us,
and it's time we take hold of this playground.
Take the world by it's reigns,
Let blood race through your veins,
It's time to look reality in it's face.
Live it up, don't live down,
Cause commotion in town!,
Give everyone something to talk about.
We are such 'scandalous' people,
Who should be locked up in cages!
We are the people on all your front pages.
You could say that we're felons,
Who rob hell from heaven,
But we're being portrayed as such criminals!
We are much past yesterday,
and tomorrow's in our reach,
So don't wait to live,
Just hold on to your seats!
Yes, we're all just flesh and bones,
biodegradable matter,
But why always be on the negative side?
Optimism is SURELY the answer.
So if you're frowning right now,
Hang upside down on playgrounds,
So then everyone can see your bright smile.
Forget what you know,
Because trust me it's unreal.,
You'll never understand,
Until you trust what you feel.

So Bad it's Not Even Sad.

Too bad, so sad! Well WHO CARES!!! I thought I've been over this, and I'm sure that I have. But I'm going to say it again. I HATE waiting. Especially waiting for someone to come online. I'm not even sure what the feeling is. I don't know if the word is on pause and the only think moving is me waiting slowly, or if I'm on pause waiting, and the whole word is just doing it's thing and revolving. Or maybe it's just BOTH. Even though that doesn't make sense, well everything in my life doesn't make sense. So today, I've spent a little more over 6 hours waiting for someone to go on aim. Or atleast calllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll or something. That's like 1/4th of my day. A FOURTH. And I'm STILL waiting. I hate being the first one to do something. It makes me feel like a GUY in a relationship instead of a GIRL. So I think what I'm trying to say is :/ I feel wanted. Because I am wanted :] But I want to feel needed. And I think I definitely show I need people, but people need to start showing that they need me :[ And if you need me and you don't do something about it. Wellllll, so bad it's not even sad.

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo over it.

Run, Don't Walk.

Haven't you ever just wanted something exciting to come and just interrupt your thoughts. To paint the walls of your head with colors of the rainbowwww. Well today, is just NOT one of those days. Nothing new has disrupted my thoughts. Nothing amazing has brought brilliance to my eyes. The only thing I see is the irritation killing everything around me. I want to go in to some corner and just be FRUSTRATED. Because that is what I totally FREAKING AM RIGHT NOW. FRUSTRATED AND PISSED AT THIS WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD. I want someone to come and talk to me. And not have any issues and just TALK to me, and make me laugh. Make me SMILE. And if you can't do that, then just please, PLEASE DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME. I hate waiting, I hate it SO MUCH I want to CRY when I have to wait more than a second to hear a reply. I have waited for things ALL my life, and I don't want to anymore. I am TIRED of it. So if you don't answer me quickly, then just leave me the HELL alone. If you can't answer the phone when I call, don't BOTHER ever calling me. And really, if you can't even just leave a message or something, then why WHY are you my friend? Honestly I don't even know why I'm mad. SO MAD. Maybe because it feels like I'm waiting on the world. Like I'm waiting for someone to keep up the same pace as me. You know? Someone who can reply like LIGHTNING and just be there for me to never miss a second of anything. Every minute you don't answer me, it's a minute wasted. Wasted on waiting. And I hate that. I HATE it. So please, PLEASE world. GIVE me a break. And find someone to keep up the pace with me. Because if noone can, I'll just run circles around the Earth until I find someone who can. Is it that hard to find that quality in someone? Answering me quickly? Maybe it sounds like I want to be a top priority. I don't know, am I a top priority, to anyone? Does someone pay all their attention to me? Maybe I just want attention. ALL of someone's attention. I just want someone to keep up with me. 

"Run don't walk, the sky is falling through."

Completely Irritable.

Hot long days make me irritated.

Waiting makes me irritated.

PEOPLE make me irritated.

So today is hot. And long. And irritating. Everything is irritating about it. What irritates me the most is when people don't answer you right away. Or when you don't really....oh my god what's the word for it. Waiting. Yea, that's it. Honestly. Waiting. Really? I, I HATE waiting. I am no princess. OBVIOUSLY. I don't have servants that wait on me hand and foot. But really, if I have to wait for anything one more time, I'm going to end up flinging myself off a cliff. Might as well cut to the chase, instead of having a slow and painful death waiting to die. Excuse me while I pleasantly go kill myself by jumping off a cliff. I'd rather do that then let this slow irritation SLOWLY irritate me to death. Mr. Irritation, if you're going to kill me, couldya doit a lil faster here?

51 +

I'm adding on to my list, but I didn't want to continue on the same post. Soooo here it goes.

1. If you fucked up, don't try to make excuses for yourself.
2. If something is your fault, then just admit it. Tell her you're sorry, and she'll forgive you. It's that easy.
3. Never leave a girl mad, and never leave things just as they are. Don't even think about leaving until you've fixed things.
4. Sometimes you need more than just an apology to be forgiven.
5. Girls will feel horrible, even when it isn't their fault.
6. Know when to let go of everything.
7. Girls need time to forgive you, don't just apologize a billion times in 5 minutes, I'm sorry should be used in moderation just as well.
8. Always remember the first rule. Saying something sweet will temporarily get you off the hook, but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

That's it for now. I'll keep posting later.

My List.

Ok, so you know how you always see those lists of what girls what guys to know, and things that guys should do? WELL, I decided to make my OWN list. I mean, I am a blog aren't I? I have to take part in this special rituals ;)

1. Saying something nice will temporarily get you off the hook, but doing something incredibly nice will always get you off the hook.
   
2. Anything you girlfriend tells you, she told YOU. She didn't tell your friends, so why should you?
3. Girls absolutely hate waiting, and the sad thing is, they've probably waited for you to call once before, so just spare them now, and just CALL.
4. It's always nice to call, or email or something once in a while, to show that you care.
5. Although a girl will want to pay half for everything, to her friends, it will always seem like you're a jerk for not paying for her.
6. If you're girlfriend doesn't want to do something, don't push her to do it. 
7. If you're girlfriend tells you, "You don't get it.", than trust me, YOU DON'T GET IT.
8. Girls PMS, and they have shitty days, so get over it. 
9. Girls don't only want to be complimented, why don't you actually DO something to show her how much you love her.
10. Don't act upset or sad around her, you'll down her mood.
11. Don't always push her to do what you want to do, let her be a girl sometimes.
12. If she hit you, she has a good reason.
13. It will NEVER be okay to scoop her. NEVER EVER.
14. Don't make fun of the things she likes. If she likes stupid music, let her like it. 
15. If she isn't comfortable around your friends, don't always have her be around your friends.
16. Don't always ask her to come to you, maybe you should go to her sometimes.
17. Try to be interested in what she's interested in. If she has a soccer game, try and go. 
18. Don't tell her she looks pretty only when she's wearing a dress or something, tell her she looks the best when she feels at the worst.
19. Don't be so uptight and serious around her! Let loose.
20. DON'T SHOW OFF. It's not even worth showing off if she doesn't care.
21. Don't have an ego. Make your girlfriend a top priority, if she's not one she'll know. 
22. Don't even THINK about forgetting her birthday. 
23. Don't get her something stupid for her birthday. Always try to pick up those little things she mentions once. 
24. PAY ATTENTION. Don't wander like an idiot. 
25. Never laugh AT your girlfriend. Trust me, she won't laugh back.
26. If there's an awkward silence, don't wait for her to fill it up. SAY SOMETHING.
27. I love you means so much more when it's in person. Don't wait until you're alone or online to tell her.
28. Girls like to joke around, you'll know when they're serious.
29. Your girlfriend will never enjoy being around your ex girlfriend. Your ex girlfriend is always a hoe. 
30. In a fight, your ex girlfriend will never right. So never defend her.
31. Girls can be mean, but don't tell her that. Telling her she said something mean, will just make her feel really self conscious.
32. Girls will always hear about the things that you told your friends. ALWAYS.
33. Girls want to hear the cute stuff that you would never think about telling them. So just tell them.
34. Don't EVER look in their bags. They have GIRL stuff.
35. Memorize your girlfriend's phone number. 
36. Have a way for your girlfriend to always reach you. Whether it's a phone or something.
37. ALWAYS ANSWER YOUR PHONE. If a girl actually CALLS you and you're NOT there, she won't want to call you again!
38. Plan something sweet everyday. Whether you wrote her a song, or a poem, or you just have something sweet planned, try to do something everyday. She'll love you forever.
39. Don't take a long to answer on a phone or take a long time to REPLY TO AN EMAIL or REPLY TO AN INSTANT MESSAGE.
40. Don't take long showers, or a long time doing anything, because she'll be waiting.
41. I love you too should ALWAYS be the reply to I love you. If you say something like Ok, or Allright, she will MURDER YOU IN HER HEAD.
42. If you think something would embarrass her.... DON'T DO IT DUMBSHIT.
43. Do the stupid silly things with her.
44. Learn to express how you feel about her. Find new wonderful cute things to say to her. You're pretty and awesome get old. 
45. The guys should always lean first. (*cough* You know. LEAN?)
46. If you BOUGHT her something. You BOUGHT it for her. Don't ever EVER even think of saying something like, but remember that time I bought you that sweater?! You owe me now!
47. DON'T ASK GIRLS TO PAY YOU BACK! It's kind of rude. Uhm. Yea. Just rude. Unless it's over like 50 dollars, don't keep reminding her.
48. It might not be her birthday or christmas, and just because you're not rich, doesn't mean that a small present wouldn't be cute right? Like, always pick out the small things she mentions once. Her pencil breaks? GO BUY HER A NEW ONE. : D But ONLY if it's cute. x]
49. Let her diss your friends. BUT THEN DON'T TELL YOUR FRIENDS.
50. Never tell a girl that she is taking too long to do something. ESPECIALLY makeup. And don't try to rush her. 
51. Most importantly, when she says goodbye and leaves, she's not just saying goodbye. She's trying to see if you'll come running after her. 

Feel free to comment.