You Don't Know.

I know life has it's ups and downs, but knowing that fact does not make the downs any more enjoyable then they already are. But you know what bugs me? I mean, if you've been trying to keep up with me, then you probably know tons by now, but you what really bugs me? I mean, really. It absolutely kills me when people think that they know what it's like to be me. I hate it when people think they know what I'm feeling, but they don't. That is my entire point. You don't know, because you're not me. It kills me so incredibly much that I'm on the verge of just breaking down already. Don't you just hate it when people think they know what you're feeling, and what's really going on with you, but they don't. And they don't even know the first thing about it? I mean honestly, what do you think you know? And what do you know? I mean I can't always tell someone what I'm feeling or what's going on because, what if I promised someone I wouldn't? Honestly, I want to tell someone, I want to tell them so bad, to share my pain, for someone to just look me in the eyes and honestly say that things will get better, and it is not my fault, but I can't. I can't, because I'm so deathly afraid that they won't understand. And they can't, because they're not me, and they don't know what it feels like to feel some of the things I feel, and to go through some of the things I've been through, but why would I ever, ever let someone I care about feel something like that, when I know how cruel of a feeling it is. I'm scared, and I'm angry, and I'm confused, and I'm sad, and I'm lost. Don't ask me what's wrong, and if I'm okay, and even try to pretend for a second that you really care.  I feel so alone because there's a crowd of people to talk to, but I feel like the only person who would ever understand is myself. So trust me, please just trust me when I say that you don't understand because you are not me.