Greed. (Finders Keepers)

"Sometimes it feels as if everyone is leaving. They used to all be there and no matter how greedy it seems, I wanted to keep them forever. We can't all get what we want in life, but I really wanted to. I wanted to have it all. I wanted it because I don't know if I could be by myself with out it all. Nothing feels the same anymore. It used to all be so different. I used to always preach about happiness, and I finally realized that it was easy to preach because I already had it. I was happy and content and care free. What happened to the people I used to depend on the most? Why does it always feel as if I'm the only fighting? Sometimes it just feels as if I'm the only one who cares enough to fight. I know I'm not alone. I know there are a lot of people who are there for me, but I still feel so alone. Why. I just want to know why. Why can't I let myself try to be happy? I did try. And I was almost okay, and I almost had that one moment of care free bliss. But within an instance, it was gone and I have no idea why I let it go, and if it was even in my power to let it go. Maybe, deep down inside I know that I'm not going to try and feel better again because I will always be this greedy.I will always want so many things and i know I'm not going to be happy without them. I'm a greedy person. I know greed corrupts us all...."