Well he broke up with me :'(
And it was because he thinks he's not ready for like a relationship and/or that he's a bad boyfriend.
But dude.
He's not.
And I don't know. Even though it's technically "not my fault" it still feels like it is. Like I could've done something to prevent this. And you know the fucked up part is that it takes 2 people to have a relationship, but it only takes one person to break up the relationship. What happened to my say in this? Oh right, I don't have a say in this. I feel as if everything I ever cared about totally got ripped right out of me. Like this was some cruel joke. To get exactly what I wanted and more just to have it thrown away and burned in this horrible fire. :(
He was the best boyfriend I ever had :] . I hope someone soon will come and save me, and rescue me from this horrific life. I wish it was him, but honestly, he knows it's not him, which makes me feel like all the time and the love and everything I put into this whole thing was worth SHIT. I know he's happier without me, which makes me feel like a loser. A fucked up loser. I deserve far less, and God knows that, and so does everyone else, and that is exactly what I'm going to get.
1 comment:
can i just say something real? you deserve a guy that thinks you rock. a guy that smiles when he sees you and a guy that wants to make you happy. okay the tough part: your attitude determines your outlook. your attitude needs some fine tuning. I don't know you and i don't know the crap you have to deal with but when your in a pit you do whatever it takes to dig your way out. if you don't value yourself this dream boy sure won't. confidence is the sexiest thing. you have inspired me to blog today on our attitudes. if you ever need to talk:
www.joyamykita.wordpress.com
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